What do you do when your child doesn't want to do their bookwork?
I'm all for having a healthy routine when it comes to bookwork.
In our home, we usually do four workbook pages each day. Depending on the subject, that takes anywhere from 30 minutes to just over an hour.
We don't do bookwork on weekends, on days when we're heading out early, or when we're on holidays. Sometimes our holidays don't even line up with the school holidays – we simply take time off when it suits our family, whether that's when Nanna visits or when we head away on a trip.
Having a routine makes it easier to get started, but what happens when your child simply doesn't want to do it?
There are usually a few reasons behind the resistance. Sometimes our son is genuinely tired or coming down with something. On those days, we simply take the day off.
Most of the time, though, he'll start reading the page, sigh, and declare that it's "stupid". More often than not, what he's really feeling is overwhelmed.
Over the years, we've found a few things that help.
1. We acknowledge that not everything in life is enjoyable.
Whether it's work, household chores or schoolwork, there are always tasks we'd rather not do. We talk about the importance of pushing through sometimes and remind him that even if he doesn't enjoy a particular exercise, there's still something valuable to learn from the experience.
2. We break big tasks into smaller ones.
A page that looks overwhelming becomes much more manageable when you tackle one question at a time. We read the questions together, break them into smaller steps, relate them to real-life examples and celebrate each little bit of progress along the way.
3. We change the environment.
Sometimes all that's needed is a change of scenery. We'll move to the couch, sit outside, or work in another room. A fresh environment often helps him relax and makes the task feel less daunting.
4. We take a break when needed.
Occasionally, the timing just isn't right. If he's frustrated, I'll often suggest spending some time outside first. Running around, climbing a tree or simply getting some fresh air can completely change his mood. Other times, the solution is much simpler – he's hungry or thirsty and just needs to refuel before trying again.
5. We use incentives thoughtfully.
Every now and then, we'll remind him that once his bookwork is finished, we'll head out on a little adventure or he'll be able to choose a small treat.
For a long time I wondered whether this was bribery. But then I realised we all work towards incentives. Most adults go to work because they're paid. Even working for myself, I often motivate myself by thinking, "Once I've finished this task, I'll go for a walk or enjoy a relaxing afternoon."
The incentive isn't the whole reason we do the work. It's simply something positive to look forward to while working through a task that feels difficult.
One of my favourite parts comes afterwards.
Once he's finished, we always ask him how it feels to have worked through the resistance.
Without fail, he says it feels good.
Over the years, he's discovered something really valuable: the sense of accomplishment that comes from finishing a task you didn't feel like doing.
That's a lesson that will serve him well far beyond homeschooling.